Many women like to claim that they’re heavily into BDSM when that isn’t the actual case at all. The most they might have done is read a little on bondage for beginners, and that isn’t going to fly when they try and step out of that bondage for beginners guide and into the real world of actual BDSM practices. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell exactly how into BDSM a woman really is, however, and that means that you’ll have to do a bit of snooping to see exactly what she’s involved in. With any luck, you’ve found a woman that really knows what she’s talking about and can enjoy herself in the world of BDSM, but unfortunately, that just isn’t always the case. Proceed with caution and pick your partners carefully.
Why It Is Important That She Has the Knowledge
You might be thinking that it’s perfectly fine that she’s still on a bondage for beginners guide, or maybe even that she knows nothing at all. It’s up to those that are BDSM veterans to teach those wanting to come into the practice, isn’t it? It’s up to you and everyone else to educate them about what is correct and what is acceptable in BDSM, don’t you think?
While the idea of that is all fine and dandy, it simply doesn’t fly when it comes to the actual practices of BDSM. Those who want to be involved in the world of BDSM need to be proactive and do their own research before becoming fully involved or claiming that they have an expert level of knowledge on the subject, only to realize they fall sorely short when it comes to any sort of commitment, involvement, and practice in general. While teaching a woman who knows nothing about BDSM can be extremely exciting and helpful to her, there is only so much you can do before she is going to need to step out of her comfort zone and do her own research into BDSM to find out what exactly she’s into, and what aspects of it she wants to explore.
It’s also important for the woman you’re after to know about the proper side of BDSM. Without it, she is walking into a dangerous situation that you could be blamed for instead. If she claims to have a safe word but in actuality, she doesn’t, that could put you into a seriously criminal situation if she claims that she told you no and you simply didn’t stop. BDSM also has many different facets, and unfortunately, popular culture has bent it to mean different (often wrong or damaging) things to different people. That’s why it is incredibly important for her to have done her own research and know exactly what she wants before she ever even steps into a situation that touches on BDSM at all.
Signs That She’s Actually Really into BDSM
It’s usually pretty easy to tell if a woman is really into BDSM in general. These are women that have done their homework, and are well past the bondage for beginners guide stage. These women are the ones that will walk up into you in a bondage club and immediately be able to answer your questions about whether or not she is submissive or dominant, what her specific kinks are, how she likes to be tied up, if she enjoys serving her Master and how exactly she likes to do it, and what kind of safe word she prefers in her scenarios. She will have scenarios that are fully fleshed out, and be able to talk to you in a sane, intelligent way about her kinks, fetishes, and everything else involving her sex life that she feels you need to know in order to make it a situation that both of you can enjoy.
When faced with this kind of opportunity, there’s no doubt that you should be able to converse with her freely about your own interests in BDSM as well, and she will be able to respond with intelligent questions regarding your preferences in turn. This is the kind of woman that obviously knows her stuff, and simply isn’t obsessed with the fad of BDSM that’s shown up since Fifty Shades of Grey showed up on the market.
Signs That She’s Really Not into BDSM
This is the kind of woman that you want to avoid. Forget bondage for beginners guides. She hasn’t even picked one up and considers romance novels with velvet ropes to be the extent of BDSM in general. She might use the terms slave and Master teasingly and flirtatiously, when in actuality, those kinds of terms should be used sparingly and only in scenes. Those who are hardcore into BDSM can actually be somewhat offended by such careless use of words.
This kind of woman also has never even heard of a scenario, and honestly thinks that most aspects of BDSM will relate to light bondage. You will not hear her speak a lick about safe words, and you will also not really be able to express your own interests without her finding them probably somewhat disturbing. This kind of woman isn’t into BDSM at all. She’s into a bit of light bondage at best, and it’s best to move on from trying to hook up with this kind of woman, unless you want to have a long, long sit down with her and educate her about the finer points of your favorite pastime. In general, however, we suggest that you don’t waste your time. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and a woman who doesn’t even understand the finer points of consent play really isn’t the kind of woman that you want to end up mixed up with.
Education about BDSM Is Important for Both Partners
Even if you consider yourself a BDSM expert, there is always the chance for you to learn something new from whatever partner that you choose, so don’t assume that all women are clueless. Men can be clueless, too, and you might find yourself completely stumped in a situation from time to time. That’s why education is incredibly important for all of those involved in BDSM, and why you shouldn’t entirely write off those who want to learn about it. It’s just those that claim to have knowledge but really don’t that you should be wary of, because you can end up in extremely scary situations with these kinds of people that can ruin your reputation and make all parties involved feel extremely uncomfortable.
BDSM is a lifestyle that can be amazingly fun, rewarding, and an enormous release for everyone that is participating. It also has many rules that need to be followed, and while that varies from couple to couple, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t some steadfast ideas that are usually commonplace in every sort of scenario that you can imagine. There are many strategies that you can come up with. Get this intro to bondage and learn some interesting bondage dating tips. If you come across a woman that doesn’t know the basics, and can’t even tell you what a safe word is, your best bet is honestly to just move on and try and meet up with someone else. You will have a much better time, and that’s the whole point.